that's me.
as some of you may know.

things have changed even in the past month or two. 
my family is moving to a new house.
i live in a house in colorado springs now.
working. (when hours are available... )
starting school soon.

and some stuff for the bad.
rent comin up sooner than expected.
money problems.
family problems.
health issues.

but in life i think it all evens out.
i may be stressed from some things but once i let it all out i feel much better.  i keep smiling no matter how my day went.  and i still enjoy that to the fullest. life can jump out at me from ever corner i turn around but i'm still okay once i get over that initial shock. moving into the house turned out to be a great decision.  closer to work. less gas w/ rent. my parents moved off E. Bradley and Mark Sheffel. it's a gorgeous house and they bought it so it's all theirs. i'm so happy for them.

oh and my friend Aaron tried killing himself saturday night.  me and my god brothers went to see him tonight along with michael kaliah and chanelle. it was amazing to see him and that he was doing alright.  he had written down a list of things that triggered his... "downs" or his anger or depression.  and as he was readin to to me and my brother his eyes lit up with happiness or even pride, one could say.  he seemed to be so proud of himself for workings towards something good.  and working towards something that would keep him from doing something like this again.  it amazed me.  i'm going to pick him up tomorrow night when he's let out from cedar springs and bring him ice cream. :) lol he's way excited.

as for my living arrangments, i'm living off n. carefree and powers with mister pigeon.  lol ryan pigeon. it goes.  it goes well.  i finally got to meet and hang out with amelia (his girlfriend) and we're really getting along.  i mean there've been a couple problems but she's a total sweetheart.  and ryan, i've come to realize, is a lot more weird when you live around him. ha ha.

my infections come back real bad.  and it hurts.

let's see what else.  james is in jail and i miss him a lot a lot.  he should be getting out soon-ish so i'm somewhat excited about that but i'm not sure how long it will be so i'm not gettin' my hopes up.

i'm leaving october 10th to go see carey and coming back the 19th.  i'm beyond excited.  for one because like i mentioned i'm stressed about a lot of things going on right now and having a break from some people and things down here for a bit might do me some good. and two.  i'm very excited to be given the chance to see carey again.  he's a real good friend to me.  and he's been there through alot of different things.  things that are amazing and things that blew balls to no end. he's been there for it all. and he means a lot to me for that.

whew.  ok well we just finished watching superstar.  and i'm tired and going to bed.

there's my update. goodnight everyone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She wakes up
Rage and grace
Pulling me closer, pushing away
And me
The sharpest thorn on your vine
Twisting and turning
We�re all intertwined

Broken wing
Empty glass
Words that scream and bounce right back
She says, you know
We�d all like to rearrange

I wish I could fix you
And make you how I want you
I wish I could fix you
And I wish you could fix me

I wish I could heal you
And mend where you are broken
I wish I could heal you
And I wish you could heal me

Ha la la la

�� A beaming sunrise buries the night
The setting sun destroys the light
Then she says, baby, I've gotta get going
Cutting each other
Without even knowing

She sees a million stars like holes in the sky
All Gods tears for her they cry
And I am in her rain

 

 

love does stupid things to people.  it makes them blind to the obvious and impervious to the blunt factors.

caring too much about a person is possible.  ... even still loving them after they go to prison.  or want nothing to do with you. i stopped missing him because i realized it's not worth my time to be sad over someone who wants to forget me with the drop of a hat. 

 

i'm done laying myself down for someone that hurt me.  i'm done laying myself down like a rug.  always there for the ppl that hurt me just to keep them around as much as i can. 

 

i know it's over and i'm fine with it. i'm moving on.  :)